My children, My heart

morning-lightAs I lay here in the early morning light, smelling the crisp fresh air wafting through our open window, I am overwhelmed with a flood of memories of my children. Amazing how certain smells can enfold you and take you on journeys mostly forgotten in the business of life.

I love my children.

I loved my children from the moment I found out they were growing inside me. Of course I did. Isn’t that the expected response? But now that they are here, and we have experienced life together, I do realize there are moments where I knew without a doubt I am truly in love with them. Deep, soul crushing, heart exploding, crazy kind of love. For the first moment in my life, I knew I was capable of sacrificing my own life to save another.

I love my children.

I love everything about them. The scent of their hair as I hug them tight, inhaling the sweetness that says you are mine, you came from me. I stare at their faces and I see how they have changed over the years, but in my eyes I see them as they were, small, beautiful vulnerable. Needing me.

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amothersloveI will admit, the day my first son arrived into this world I was a little traumatized. It was no doubt the worst pain I had ever endured, and the greatest joy I have ever experienced in my 22 years here on Earth. I did everything I was told during my pregnancy with him. I was active but stayed well rested. I ate the right foods, and read all the books about what to expect being that I was expecting. The truth is that nothing could have prepared me for what was to come. A statement I’m sure any mother would agree with.

A tiny human. My very own son. He was breathtaking and I loved him. I held him against me and rubbed his entire body, every part of him over and over again. There is no feeling ever as spectacular as rubbing the skin of a newborn right after they breathe air for the first time. He was smooth and warm, and his heartbeat was rapid, perfectly in sync with mine. Then in an instant, after they took him from my arms, I suddenly felt the weight of the world on top of me. An unexpected sinking in my soul. Surprisingly, I had never felt so alone. Many moms know exactly of what I speak. This beautiful fragile being is going to need your everything. Your best game. Forever!

I love my children.

heart-treeI love each of them the same way I loved my first. The birthing became easier, the longing did not. I still held each of them to my body, rubbed every part of them. Checking fingers and toes, smelling their sweet scents and feeling their amazing warmth. Hearing them breath for the first time and feeling their heart beats. The same overwhelming feeling of desperation. Can I be all they need me to be?

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 tells us, Love is patient; love is kind. Love is not jealous; is not proud; is not conceited; does not act foolishly; is not selfish; is not easily provoked to anger; keeps no record of wrongs; takes no pleasure in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth; love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.

When it comes to the Bible’s most well-known passage on love, mothers are beautiful examples of the high calling of love that is described. Moms are a source of honor, goodness, and loveliness. As in all things pure and virtuous, we are encouraged to think upon such things. When look back as I lay in bed overwhelmed by memories of my children. I take strength in the fact that God equip me to take on the huge responsibility of raising my children. Because I love my children so deeply so strongly. I will forever strive to be everything they need. I will bring my best game. Thank you Jesus, for loving me so I can love others.

I love my children ~ Forever until I am gone.


3 Comments Add yours

  1. ktony911 says:

    Great source of Joy they are.
    True talk


    1. maparker6 says:

      Children are everything.

      Liked by 1 person

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